JOB LISTINGS!
by Unnoticed Silence
Summary: We all know in our hearts that there's some jobs that our poor Demigods cannot do... Rated 'T' as usual for paranoia... -mutters to self- got to stop getting so bored...
1. Percy :)

JOB LISTINGS!

Part duex, for those of you who read Saint's Maximum Ride version.

Yeah, yeah. Shamelessly advertising for you, Saint.

Better be thankful.

…anyways…

Percy should never become employed as:

1. A SeaWorld worker:

Percy: And now Shamu will magically float on top of a pillar of water that I so didn't create!

-Raises Shamu up too high-

-Squishes the whale-

Audience: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Director: I don't remember this being part of the show…

2. A story time reader:

Percy: And the pog humped the box and the wover helled at him.

Mothers of the Children: INNAPROPRIATE! BAD LANGUAGE! YOU'RE FIRED!

Percy: You can't fire me!

Mothers: Yeah, but we can sue you.

Percy: …I'm leaving.

Kid: Did anyone else not understand him?

Percy: -walks out door- Don't worry, kids! I didn't understand it, either! And once your mothers finish suing me, I'll sue whoever wrote this book!

Rick Riordan: I wrote that book…

-dramatic music- BUH BUH BAAAMM!

3. A principal of any school:

Percy: You, you, and you are all MONSTERS! YOU'RE ALL FIRED!

Teacher: You can't fire me…

Percy: Oh, yeah? Why's that?

Teacher: -morphs into Mrs. Dodds- -evilly cackles- BECAUSE YOU'LL BE DEAD BY MORNING!

Percy: Oh crap… -runs-

4. A Spanish teacher:

If he can't even read English, how is he supposed to teach a foreign language?

5. A regular teacher:

Percy: So, class, what have we learned from my life story?

Kid: … not to mess with pretty girls?

Percy: No…

Kid: That your parents are buttholes if they're somehow a god?

-Thunder rumbles-

Kid: … Zeus is about to kill me, isn't he?

Percy: Yup. Everyone, duck and cover, and assume the defensive formation that I taught you while we should have been doing English!

-Zeus smashes kid into a grease spot-

Percy: Ok, we're clear!

-Kids come out-

Percy: Ok, back to my life story… Can someone call a custodian? The smell of charred kid starts to get to you…

Me: so... what'd you guys think of the Blood Of Olympus? Good? Bad? Meh? Haven't read it?

Rawr: And just for the record, Rick's writing a new series, with Norse mythology. I can't remember the guy's first name... but his last name is Chase.

Me: coincidence? I think not... After all, Annabeth has cousins in Brooklyn...

R&R?


	2. Leo's Turn!

**Me: So I had this typed up on Fanfiction, all nice and pretty, and then Fanfiction was a butt and decided that it should go bye-bye… so here I am, typing this up again…**

**Rawr: and, so, for the second time, we're answering reviews…**

**Me: to the awesome Maximumrider99…. Meh. Hai. Stuff. And soo…. Yeah…. Here's you're update….**

**Rawr: To Kare-Bear-Karen…. Hope you can read the book soon- it's awesome…. And the lengthiness of the descriptions just come and go… soo yeah…**

**Me: and to Spiesareawesome- First off, love your username- it made me crack up. Spies are indeed awesome…. Anyways, I'm glad that at least one of us can remember the name of… uh… what was it again? Rawr? A little help?**

**Rawr: Magnus. Magnus Chase.**

**Me: I'll probably just call him 'Chase' for, like, the rest of my life…. Ok, Story time! Leo's turn!**

JOB LISTINGS

PART DUEX

LEO'S TURN!

Leo should be banned from these jobs:

A cook:

Customer: My food is bu-

**Rawr: -interrupts- Uh, Silence? You're forgetting something…**

**Me: What? No! I answered reviews, did the disclaimer….**

**Rawr: …**

**Me: Oh, right…. The disclaimer…**

**Rawr: yep. **

**Me: Well, we interrupt our usually scheduled programming to bring you: RAWR REMINDED ME OF THE DISCLAIMER! I don't own Heroes of Olympus, period. Or James Bond, or Fairly Odd Parents, 'cause of the Dr. Maybe thingy… **

**Rawr: that takes care of our legal needs…. Moving on…**

JOB LISTINGS!

TAKE TWO!

PART DUEX!

LEO'S TURN!

Leo should be banned from these jobs:

A cook:

Customer: my food is all burnt!

Leo: WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?! I CATCH MYSELF ON FIRE ON A REGULAR BASIS!

Customer: … but can you still re-cook my food?

A fire breather:

It just wouldn't be fair to the others….

Leo: -spewing fire- AAAAAA BBBBB CCCC DDDDD EEEE FFFF GGGGG

Other Fire Breather: A- -catches self on fire-

Head guy of evil Dr. No plan:

**(A/N: So, whoever gets this gets brownie points, 'cause Athens has watched these movies so many times it isn't even funny…. And so that means I've watched them a bazillion times as well…. And even more brownie points to those of you who thought of Dr. Maybe when you read the title… Have you ever heard of Dr. Maybe…. No. no. **_**Maybe?)**_

Leo: -holding fluffy white cat, petting it slowly and sitting in cushy spinny chair-

Messenger: Sir Epic Leo, 00Percy has made it past our defenses, and is on his way up here right now…

Leo: He killed our assassins?

Messenger: Yep.

Leo: and the secret ninja guys that hide in the hallways?

Messenger: yes…

Leo: and Jaws?

Messenger: yes….

Leo: How about Secret Operation Annabeth?

Messenger: we didn't deploy her….

Leo: deploy her. Deploy her now!

Messenger: Ok…

-speaks Gibberish into walkie-talkie-

Leo: this should stop 00percy for the time being…. His love of women is his greatest weakness….

Annabeth: -walks in- Sir Epic… you know what? I'm just going to call you Leo…. Leo, you called?

Leo: yes I did.

Annabeth: Let me guess: 00Percy's made it through the defenses, and you want me to go… occupy him until someone can pop up like a freaky clown and stab him in the back... How'd I do?

Leo: Are you psychic or something?

Annabeth: No, that's just what you've had me do, like, 1,000 times before…

Leo: Oh, yeah. Anyways, go do your job!

-Annabeth walks down hall-

-Finds 00Percy-

Annabeth: Why, hello, there... what's your name.

Percy: My name is Bond. James Bond.

Annabeth: I thought you were, like 00Percy or something…

Percy: I am, I just really wanted to say that…

Annabeth: Ok, then…

Percy: Anyways, You just proved my point! HA-HA! TAKE THAT, LEO!

Annabeth: Wha?

Percy: You just proved you're working with him, which means I need to dispose of you….

-Percy pulls out exploding pen-

-Clicks pen-

Leo: Oh, crap.

-Percy jumps through window-

-Opens up parachute-

-James Bond theme music plays-

-Building explodes behind Percy-

-Epic scene takes place-

Replacement to Zeus

Leo: I now declare every Second Tuesday of the month BACON LOVE TUESDAY!

**Me: I think Leo should replace Zeus now….**

**Rawr: Yeah, like that's gonna happen.**

**Me: Meh!**

**Rawr: MEH!**

**R&R?**


End file.
